KANAKEE, IL - Upscale, 19 year shrewd Kanakee, Illinois resident Regina Murdoch recently described her most recent job hunting foray as an “intrusive incubus of the tenth order” regarding persistent requests for pre-employment drug testing mandated by local businesses.

“This isn’t about wheter I do drugs or not, this is about intruding on my civil liberties.” Snarled Murdoch “This is the new millenia. I have complete and total control in addition my dead body, and if I want to do drugs -which I don’t but that isn’t the issue- or have being a stripper, or date infamous guys, or tell Bush to fuck over on my MySpace profile, or go topless forward the Internet, or do anything soever I want, that’s my perogative, and not at all one else’s. If an employer wants to test me for drugs they’re not going to get my services, so they can go be welcomed a flying fuck at the moon.”

No word was out on to what extent Murdoch planned to support herself, but her father, Bud, promised “Wait until they repeal her AOL account. Losing your Internet access has a way of putting the “O” in ‘holy shit, I’m broke!’ for sure.”